Ahh, family. Can't live with them, can't live without them. Can't shoot them either unless you're planning a stint in prison. I do live with my brother so I guess I should amend that well-known adage to can't live with them without wanting to take all their annoying little habits and setting them on fire (if that is technically possible). I list my brother's faults as thus:
1. He never shuts the door when using the bathroom-unless he's "laying down the law" (his words)
2. He makes noise from the moment he gets up. As a child he was always beat boxing and he still hasn't grown out of that habit. I do not want to hear some drum and bass/dubstep remix of whatever song he wishes to remix when I'm trying to sleep. He had the gall to call me a cheeky c*** under his breath when I told him to keep the noise down whilst he was singing in the shower. He is not aware of the thinness of the walls (or the perceptiveness of my hearing) so I told him off.
3. He leaves his worn socks in the living room. Ditto trainers, biscuits, biscuit wrappers, Ped-Egg filings (yuk!), plates, mugs and other day-to-day detritus.
4. The mantlepiece of said living room also serves as an extension of his bedroom with his cosmetic products-baby oil, deodorants, aftershave, lotion (body and hair).
5. In the back room (which to be honest serves mostly as a thoroughfare to the kitchen and upstairs) he keeps a bike which he bought on the cheap because it was old and he took it out once and the tyre burst and it needs new wheels because the rubber is all cracked but he is too cheap to buy new ones.
6. He is cheap. Whenever there is a cheaper option available he will take it, regardless of whether it is actual value for money. He baulked at the idea of spending £30 on an iron, so I bought it with my own money. As for the ironing board, it came out of our joint account. I was hoping that he would take a tenner and add a couple of quid of his own to get the £12.99 one. Instead he got the £8.99 cheapo and kept the change.
7. He does not know how to wash his clothes. Rather than wash on a weekly basis he waits until he has no clean clothes left then shoves everything in the machine. I once took 14 t-shirts, along with bedding, jeans, socks and underwear out once because I needed to use it and the clothes had been left in there. Then he complains that his clothes never dry properly in the dryer. Other times when he hasn't got a full load he will put a few things in the machine and just leave them without washing them.
8. He does not do any washing up until he has used everything. I do it on an 'as used' basis, unless I'm feeling lazy, then I'll do it later in the day or the next if I'm positively slovenly.
9. He moans that he has no money. That's because he spends it on crappy car/graffiti magazines and food that he doesn't need.
10. And trainers-that boy has far too many trainers! He is a Vans officionado. He has at least 40 pairs, yet he still buys more.
11. He does not buy milk, yet uses most of it.
12. He's been with his girlfriend for about a year, yet he always complains about her. Last year there was some farcical happenings concerning a pregnancy scare and frankly I was sick of it all.
13. He watches the Hollyoaks omnibus (a leftover habit from a previous girlfriend)
I never realised there was so much that annoyed me about him. I'm not saying that I am perfect but at least my habits are less annoying, from my point of view at least.
